The Wordy Birdy digital recorder is shaped like a quarter note.

The Wordy Birdy Digital Speech Training Device
$29.95 ($33.95 including shipping)
www.wordybirdy.com

ADMIT IT: one of the reasons you got a parrot was because it was supposed to "talk". So, how is that working out for you? Not so well? Your bird’s true calling is to be an avian Marcel Marceau?

That's okay. After all, you've discovered plenty of other reasons to love your bird, like the cute way he holds a carrot stick in one foot or cuddles with you on the couch. You wouldn't trade him for all the Shakespearean-trained psittacines in the world. Still, dreams die hard. Every time someone brags about their bird’s big vocabulary, all those old longings come rushing back. You want your bird to talk, too!

Dozens of tapes and CDs on the market promise to transform your quiet guy into masterful orator. They'll teach him to whistle the Andy Griffith Show theme, recite a poem, say he loves you. However, it's someone else’s voice coaching your bird, not you.

Based on the premise that your bird will pay more attention when you're the one doing the teaching, the Wordy Birdy takes a different tack. A cute hard-plastic 8.7-ounce unit whimsically molded in the shape of a big blue quarter note, the Wordy Birdy records your voice (or any other sound) and plays it back to your bird at set intervals. A side thumbwheel adjusts the interval, which is reflected in a status LED. The shorter the interval the faster the LED blinks and the more frequently the phrase will repeat, up to every 30 seconds. (The longest interval, for birds who don't like to be nagged, is 30 minutes.)

We liked the Wordy Birdy overall. It's easy to use, with Record and Play buttons and the built-in microphone on the front. The battery cover is a bit stubborn to remove and we wished the Wordy Birdy had an eyelet so we could hang it, but these are minor complaints. According to the manufacturer the four AA batteries last about six months.

A monoaural device, the Wordy Birdy does not sound as loud or as clear as a training CD. We practically had to shout into the microphone to get playback loud enough for our satisfaction. Still, it records cleanly with little noise and it was plenty loud enough for same-room listening. Since the recording is digital, there is no tape to degrade.

But does it work? To give Wordy Birdy a fair shake, we tried it on two birds with polar opposite speaking skills. My introverted blue-and-gold macaw, Louie, picks up words at glacial speeds; in his 20 years he has learned just half a dozen phrases. Kiko, an African grey owned by Roger Lopez of Palo Alto, Calif., can recite complex nursery rhymes after hearing them only a few times. It was both birds’ first time to work with a training device. I wondered if the Wordy Bird would goad a taciturn bird like Louie to learn faster. How would Kiko, who clearly thrived on face-to-face speaking lessons, react to a recording?

Like any audio training device, the Wordy Birdy may drive you crazy sooner than it teaches your bird anything. Those who work at home should plan on staying well out of earshot. On our first day of Wordy Birdy workouts, Paul appeared in the doorway to my office, a frozen smile on his face. “My name is Louie!” he exclaimed, glassy-eyed. "My name is Louie! My name is Louie!"

"Congratulations," I said. "How about Louie? Is he learning anything?"

A couple of weeks passed and Louie continued to ignore the Wordy Birdy's other cheerfully recorded proclamations, including "I love you!" and "Goodbye!" I wasn't surprised. This was, after all, a bird that learns approximately one word per year.

I sent Roger the Wordy Birdy to try with Kiko. Roger used to have his own Wordy Birdy, but after a couple of days Kiko flung it off a table, "trying to get the little man inside out of it," said Roger. "It's actually pretty sturdy, but the electronics inside didn't survive the onslaught."

This time, Roger kept the Wordy Birdy out of beak's reach, and Kiko learned "Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse ran up the clock." It took him three days.

"Kiko will pick up words quickly if he likes what he hears,” said Roger. The Wordy Birdy did not teach Kiko to sound like Roger, but then Kiko has never sounded like Roger, according to his owner.

Bottom line: like any audio training device, the Wordy Birdy can spare you the effort of concentrated training (as long as the recording does not drive you nuts first). Its advantage is that you can teach your bird the precise phrases you want him to learn. But is it "the most effective training device available," as its inventor, Dallas sound technician Russell Whitaker, asserts?

Based on our testing, the Wordy Birdy appears to work as well as your bird picks up phrases; in other words, there is no reason why enthusiastic avian students of the English language should not embrace it. But the Louies of the world? Don't expect it to work miracles on your quiet guy.